Cute Baby

Baby's First Few Weeks

2007-10-02T18:26:00.001-07:00

Overview

Your baby's finally arrived! And mixed with your overwhelming love and pride is probably a good dose of anxiety: How will you know just what he needs when he needs it? First and foremost, trust your instincts. As you and your baby spend time together, you'll become more and more in tune with each other. But a little preparation helps, too. Here's what you need to know about bonding, holding. and bathing your baby, and more.

Bonding basics

Your baby may not be able to move around much or babble yet, but he's bonding with you through every touch, coo, and loving look you give him. Don't worry if at first you don't feel that you two are really bonding. The process takes time. Just relax, and try:

Holding him skin to skin
Looking into his eyes
Talking to him
Cuddling with him

How to hold your newborn

Always...
• Support her head by placing your hand or arm behind her neck.

• Use a position that your baby enjoys. Some need a little space, while others feel secure only when held close.

• Bend at the knees — not the waist — when picking up something while holding your infant.

• Hold your baby close to you when handing her to someone else. Let that person slide his arms underneath her before you remove yours.

Never...
• Handle your infant with jerky movements, which could jostle her still-growing and delicate brain.

• Wear your baby in a carrier while you're cooking, slicing vegetables, or engaging in other potentially risky activities.

Hold your baby in the car; always buckle her into a rear-facing infant car seat that's safely secured in the backseat.

• Shake a baby — even in play. Infants under 6 months are susceptible to "shaken baby syndrome" — bruising and bleeding of the brain, spinal cord injury, eye damage, and even death — as a result of having their heads shaken.

Jaundice: signs and treatment

More than half of all newborns develop jaundice, a medical term describing a yellowish skin coloration. The yellow color is caused by an excess of bilirubin, a chemical produced during the normal breakdown and replacement of red blood cells. In older children and adults, bilirubin is automatically eliminated from the body very quickly. But a baby's immature liver sometimes isn't able to process all of it, and its buildup causes jaundice.

To check for jaundice, hold your baby in natural light or in a room that has fluorescent lights and:

• Press your fingertip gently against your baby's forehead or the tip of his nose. The skin should look white (for babies of all races). If it looks yellowish, report it to your physician.

• Check the whites of your baby's eyes. If they look yellow, call your doctor.

Jaundice is usually harmless and clears up after a few days, but your doctor will use regular blood tests to keep close tabs on it because extreme cases can cause brain damage. If your child's condition does not improve, your doctor may recommend phototherapy. This common treatment — in which the baby is placed under ultrafluorescent lights in the hospital — will clear up jaundice in a day or two. You can also ask your pediatrician about renting a portable phototherapy machine that you can use at home.

Umbilical cord care

Your baby's umbilical stump will fall off during the first few weeks. Until then:

Do...
• Fold the front of your baby's diaper below the navel so it doesn't irritate or moisten the area around the stump.

• Give a sponge bath only (see "Bathtime know-how," below). It's okay if the stump gets a little wet — just towel it dry.

• Call the pediatrician if:
1. The belly button oozes pus or leaves more than a dab of blood on the diaper (it's normal for there to be small drops of blood on the diaper when the stump is healing or after the cord falls off).

2. The skin at the base of the stump turns red, is painful when you touch it, or has a bad odor. This may signal an infection that needs immediate medical attention.

Don't...
• Use rubbing alcohol. Studies show that if you use it on your baby's umbilical cord, the stump can take up to two days longer to fall off than if you keep the cord dry.

• Put ointment on the cord unless it's prescribed by your doctor to treat an infection.

Bathtime know-how

For the first week or two — until the cord stump falls off — a sponge bath is all your baby needs. To give her one:

1. Gather your supplies: a basin of warm water, mild baby soap, shampoo, a washcloth, cotton balls, and a baby towel (preferably one with a hood).

2. Undress her, wrap her in a towel, and lay her on a padded surface. Never take your hands or eyes off her.

3. Keep the parts of her body you're not washing covered with the towel to keep her warm.

4. Clean the upper eyelids gently with a washcloth soaked in warm water. Remove drainage from the eyes with moistened cotton balls.

5. Wipe the outer part of the ears.

6. Wash the creases of the neck, arms, and legs.

7. For the genital area, gently wipe from front to back. If you have a boy and he's uncircumcised, don't retract his foreskin; a gentle cleaning is sufficient. Do the same for a circumcised penis, and wash under his scrotum.

8. Rinse off shampoo by squeezing clean water from a wet washcloth onto your baby's hair while holding her securely over the sink.

9. Diaper and dress her.

For more information on giving your baby sponge and wet baths, go to our Bath guide.

Guarding against SIDS

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) — when a baby unexpectedly stops breathing and dies in his sleep — occurs in 1 in 1,400 American babies a year, usually before 6 months of age. There is no known cause of SIDS, but research indicates that certain precautions lower the risk. Be sure to:

• Always put your baby to sleep on his back.

• Make your home a smoke-free environment, and don't allow others to smoke around your baby.

• Leave bedding like comforters or pillows out of your baby's crib.

• Keep the temperature in your baby's room between 68°F and 72°F, so your child won't overheat while sleeping.

• Breastfeed for as long as possible to build your baby's immunity to upper respiratory infections.

For more information on preventing SIDS, go to our Baby Sleep guide.

Meconium and bowel movements

For the first few days after birth, your baby's bowel movement will be sticky and greenish-black. This substance, called meconium, is perfectly normal. It's what filled your baby's intestines while she was in the womb, and once her body gets rid of it, her poop will look yellowish-orange, with seedlike particles.

After about a week (and for about the next six months), the consistency and frequency of your baby's bowel movements will depend on whether she's breastfed or formula-fed. While it's normal for an infant to have a bowel movement anywhere from five or six times a day to once every couple of days, breastfed infants tend to poop less often; breast milk is so readily digested that it leaves little bulk.

If your child has any of the following symptoms, call your pediatrician. They could indicate an infection or food allergy (either to formula or what's in your breast milk):

You see mucus or blood in her stool.
She has diarrhea.
She hasn't pooped during her first week.
Her stools remain black and sticky after the first week.

For more information on bowel movements, go to our Constipation guide.

Colic

Generally, a baby is deemed colicky if he shows sudden and unexplained outbursts of crying in accordance with the "rule of threes" — crying at least three hours a day, for three days a week, beginning within the first three weeks of life. It's painful to hear and stressful to deal with, since the most you can do is try to calm your baby until his colicky phase passes — usually by 3 months of age. For tried-and-true colic soothers, go to our Colic guide.

When to call the doctor

Call immediately if you notice any of the following in your baby:

A fever higher than 100°F
Difficulty breathing
Forceful or repeated vomiting
Persistent diarrhea
Blood in his urine or stool
Frequent, inconsolable, or high-pitched crying
Persistent lethargy
Yellow- or orange-hued skin or eyes
A rash, blisters, or irritated skin
White patches in his mouth, which may indicate thrush (the condition isn't serious, but it can make your baby uncomfortable and unable to nurse or bottle-feed well)
Any unusual discharge from his eyes, nails, navel, or genitals

Taking care of yourself

As much as you've longed for your baby's arrival, all the feeding, diaper changing, and sleepless nights can leave you feeling pretty depleted. Don't forget: You need some TLC right now, too. Be sure to get plenty of…

Liquids. They're especially important if you're breastfeeding.

Energy-boosting foods. Keep a stash of healthy snacks in a few rooms around your house so they're always accessible.

Sleep. Well, as much as you can get!

Support. Asking for help from relatives and friends — or even hiring a doula or a baby nurse — isn't a sign of weakness or inability; it's a sign that you're doing everything in your power to take the best possible care of your newborn.

Summary

The first few weeks at home with a new baby are joyous — but they can also be tough. You worry about his sleep, milk intake, comfort — everything — and you're settling into a new, very different routine from what you were used to (all on much less sleep than you're used to!). Just take it one day at a time, and don't be too hard on yourself. You'll feel like a pro in no time.

Choosing Childcare for Your Baby

2007-10-02T18:23:00.000-07:00

The "recipe" for quality

By ClubMom Parenting Expert Ann Douglas
Ann Douglas is an award-winning journalist and the author of 27 books on pregnancy and parenting. She is the creator and author of the bestselling "The Mother of All" Books series. Known for her lively anecdotes and real-world advice, Ann is an "Expert Mom" here at ClubMom, the "Misconceptions" columnist for Conceive Magazine, and a contributor to numerous other parenting Websites and magazines. She is also a much sought after speaker who is recognized for her ability to entertain and inspire her audiences and to get to the heart of the issues of greatest concern to parents today.

Researchers have spent years trying to pinpoint the key ingredients in the "recipe" for an ideal child-care arrangement for an infant. Here's a quick summary of their findings to date.

Continuity of care: Infants do best in child-care situations in which they're cared for by the same person day after day. This daily interaction allows them to form strong attachments to their caregivers — something that contributes to their emotional health and well-being.

Responsive caregivers: The responsiveness of the caregiver is another critically important factor in determining whether an infant will do well in a particular child-care setting. In order to feel safe and secure and to develop a sense of trust in his caregiver (to say nothing of the universe as a whole!), a baby's needs must be met promptly and consistently by the person who's responsible for caring for him while he's away from his parents.

Lots of affection: This one is hardly a surprise, but it warrants a mention nonetheless: Babies tend to thrive in settings that provide plenty of opportunities for cuddling, holding, and unhurried care.

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The Mother of All Parenting Books
Choosing Childcare for Dummies
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books
The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers
Body Talk
The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby

Choosing Childcare for Your Baby

The "recipe" for quality

By ClubMom Parenting Expert Ann Douglas

Ann Douglas is an award-winning journalist and the author of 27 books on pregnancy and parenting. She is the creator and author of the bestselling "The Mother of All" Books series. Known for her lively anecdotes and real-world advice, Ann is an "Expert Mom" here at ClubMom, the "Misconceptions" columnist for Conceive Magazine, and a contributor to numerous other parenting Websites and magazines. She is also a much sought after speaker who is recognized for her ability to entertain and inspire her audiences and to get to the heart of the issues of greatest concern to parents today.

Researchers have spent years trying to pinpoint the key ingredients in the "recipe" for an ideal child-care arrangement for an infant. Here's a quick summary of their findings to date.

More below...

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A program that follows a baby-friendly schedule: Babies do better in settings in which they're allowed to follow their own eating and sleeping schedules, as opposed to being forced to conform to some predetermined mealtime and naptime schedule.

A predictable environment: Like human beings in general, babies are creatures of habit. Consequently, they tend to feel more comfortable and secure in situations that have some sort of predictable routine.

A safe yet stimulating environment: Babies need to have access to a safe yet stimulating environment — one that's designed to provide them with plenty of opportunities for learning, but that's been suitably child-proofed for babies at every stage of development from creepers to crawlers to walkers.

Plenty of opportunity for communication between parents and caregivers: Parents and caregivers should share information on a regular basis — daily if possible. Such communication can happen informally at pickup and drop-off times via written notes in a notebook that travels back and forth to day-care each day.

Thinking About Being a Stay-at-Home Mom?

2007-09-27T19:25:00.001-07:00

By Beth Weinhouse for Your Baby Today

Some of us always knew that after a maternity leave we'd be back at work. Others of us knew we wouldn't, and couldn't wait to spend time at home with our young children. But for all the women who go through pregnancy serenely, certain of their path, there are many others who agonize over what to do after the baby comes. Continue the career they always loved? Or stay home with the baby they always will love?

According to new Census Bureau data, more and more women are opting to stay home with their newborns. Fifty-five percent of women with infants were in the labor force in June 2000 (the most recent data), compared with 59 percent two years earlier. That drop, though modest, is the first in a quarter-century.

Public opinion is behind this movement. A Gallup Organization survey last year found that only 13 percent of the people polled thought that the ideal family situation was for both parents to work full-time outside the house. Forty-one percent believed that the ideal would be for one parent to work full-time while the other worked either part-time or at home. And another forty-one percent felt that one parent should stay home solely to raise the children while the other parent works.

But statistics don't tell the whole story. "The data might show that fifty-five percent of these women are in the workforce, but my question is, how many of them really want to be?" says Cheryl Gochnauer, author of So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom?. Gochnauer, who also runs the Web site www.homebodies.org, had always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but assumed that her family couldn't afford it. "I was a working mom for six years before I did the math and figured that if you considered all my working expenses, I was only clearing thirty-nine dollars a week," she says. "I asked my husband if he could pick up that much extra in overtime. He said, 'yes,' and I said, 'I'm outta there!'"

In addition to finances, women considering staying at home with their children should also gauge their partner's support, as well as how it will affect their emotional/psychological happiness:

Finances
To consider how much money your family would lose by your staying at home, first subtract from your income all the expenses related to your working. These expenses include taxes, childcare, transportation, clothing, dry cleaning, lunches out, etc. What's left is the amount of money your household truly loses by your staying at home. Then see if you can compensate for the difference by either cutting back on extras (vacationing in Florida instead of France might be acceptable, but not having enough money for groceries certainly isn't) or finding out if your partner can make up all or most of the difference in income. Some women -- and all single parents -- will find that their working is a financial necessity. But many women will be surprised to find that when all the expenses are figured in, the decision to have one parent stay at home is not as financially frightening as they'd thought.
Partner Support
This is a couples decision, and you and your partner need to be in sync about whatever you decide. For the most part, says Gochnauer, men aren't thinking in terms of touchy-feely issues such as your desire to be close to the children. "Men want to know the bottom line: how you're going to eat," she says. If a woman intent on staying home approaches her husband with everything lined out financially, chances are he'll support her decision to stay home.
Emotional Health and Happiness
While mothers who work full-time outside the home feel frustrated and guilty about the lack of time they have with their children, stay-at-home mothers feel plenty of frustration, too. The most common complaints of stay-at-home moms have to do with loneliness and sense of self. The isolation of being at home with small children can be quite a shock, especially for women who'd had full-time careers beforehand. And the loss of a title and job affiliation can mean a crisis of self-identity.

Combat loneliness by joining local parenting support groups such as Mothers of Preschoolers or Mothers & More. Work with your partner's schedule to find at least one time a week where you can get out of the house on your own to be with other adults -- in a book club, adult education course, exercise class, etc. And definitely keep your work skills fresh for the day when you may want to return to your career. "Go out to lunch every few months with your old colleagues, take an occasional course, keep in touch with your old business associates and contacts," advises Gochnauer.

By the way... all the above advice is applicable to men, too. Gochnauer says that the past few years have seen a new emphasis on the family, and that both men and women are feeling the tug of home. "I've definitely seen an upsurge in the number of guys who want to become stay-at-home Dads, too," she says.

Beth Weinhouse is a frequent contributor to Your Baby Today. She specializes in women's and children's health issues and lives in Oxford, Mississippi with her husband and 6-year-old son.

The content on these pages is provided as general information only and should not be substituted for the advice of your physician.

Baby Shower: Give Your Friend the Gift of Mother Wisdom

2007-09-25T21:25:00.001-07:00

Remember what it was like when you first became a mother—how you started to feel like you’d been selected for the most brutal reality television show ever, Motherhood Survivor? “Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?” you wondered as you did the middle-of-the-night mother dance with your fussy baby, desperately trying to usher him off to lullaby land so that you could steal some shuteye yourself….

Advice unlimited
If you’re planning a shower for a friend who is about to have a baby, the best gift you can give her is a guided tour of life on Planet Mom. Here are five fun ways to give your party guests a chance to pass along their best advice to the mom-to-be.

1. Picture Perfect Advice: Create a poster for your friend that features an eye-catching photo (perhaps a shot of your friend’s very pregnant belly). Ask each guest to jot her favourite tip on the poster as she arrives.

2. AdviceCam: Most shower guests are natural-born hams and will welcome the opportunity to offer on-camera advice. By the end of the party, you’ll have a one-of-a-kind motherhood video to pass along to your friend.

3. Recipe for Success: Include an index card with each baby shower invite, and ask each party guest to jot down her best advice on the card.

4. First Year Survival Guide: Purchase a scrapbook and ask party guests to jot their best bits of mother wisdom on to pages dedicated to such themes as “chasing down the sandman,” “taming the laundry monster,” and “making time for romance.” Voila! The ultimate first year survival guide!

5. Postcards from the Edge: Ask each party guest to purchase a postcard which best symbolizes what the early weeks of motherhood will be like (a mountain climbing expedition? swinging from a trapeze?) and to include their best mothering advice on the back. Let them know that if they include their favourite quote about motherhood, they’ll be eligible to win a special door prize (a collection of quotations about motherhood, naturally!)

It's in the cards
Want to take our card idea and run with it? To help get you started, we’ve jotted down some ideas below....

Bet you never thought….you’d find yourself describing the colour and texture of your baby’s stools with the same enthusiasm you once reserved for paint chips and fabric swatches until the day when….your slightly squeamish single girlfriend asks if you could switch topics until after she was finishes her lunch. So my advice to you is….to choose your audience with care when you’re passing along the poop on motherhood. And know when it’s best to skip to the executive summary!

Bet you never thought….you’d have to rent the same movie more than once in order to catch the ending until the day when…. you caught yourself dozing off during Cold Mountain for the third time. So my advice to you is….to consider watching movies during the daytime rather than the evening, and to shift any post-movie romance to an earlier time-slot, too. (You won’t score any points with your leading man if you doze off during sex either.)

Bet you never thought….it would be that difficult to make a home-cooked meal after your baby was born until the day when….you looked in the refrigerator and couldn’t find anything to eat but condiments and moldy mystery casserole. So my advice to you is….to fill your freezer with healthy entrees and to let friends and family members pitch in with meal-making after your baby is born. You’ll also want to stock your cupboards and your refrigerator with healthy, easy-to-prepare foods, including every new parent’s best friend—salad in a bag!

Bet you never thought….that your arms could ache from carrying around a tiny newborn baby Until the day when….you realized that a day in the motherhood trenches tires you out more than any workout you’ve ever done at the gym. So my advice to you is….to invest in a good baby carrier. Not only will a baby carrier give your arms a bit of a break when baby is having a “hold me” kind of day. It will also allow you and baby to get mobile!

Bet you never thought….you could feel so many emotions at the same time about being a new mother Until the day when….a simple “how are you?” from a friend who really cares caused you to start laughing and crying at the same time So my advice to you is….to come clean about how you’re feeling so that other people in your life can provide you with support, reassurance, and plenty of hands-on help. You don’t get extra marks for switching into martyr mode at this or any other stage of motherhood, so don’t be afraid to call for backup every now and again!

Fertility Tips: How to Get Pregnant Fast

2007-09-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

When you want to get pregnant, you want to get pregnant now. (Being patient is okay in theory until you actually switch into babymaking mode, right?) If you want to increase your odds of getting pregnant sooner rather than later, the following tips from Ann Douglas -- author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition), The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers and The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby (first edition and the brand new second edition) -- will help you to maximize your chances of conceiving quickly and ending up with a healthy baby. (Note: If you find this list of tips helpful, you may want to read some of Ann's fertility articles (she's a columnist for Conceive Magazine), as well as The Mother of All Lenses: Pregnancy and Parenting over at Squidoo.)

Start taking folic acid now. You reduce your chances of giving birth to a baby with a neural tube defect (for example, anencephaly or spina bifida) by 50% to 70% if you start taking at least 0.4 mg of folic acid each day two to three months before you start trying to conceive.

Try to keep sex fun when you're trying to conceive. Use rooms other than the bedroom or schedule your babymaking rendezvous for an odd time of day. The rationale? You won't be able to keep up the babymaking pace for very long if sex starts feeling like a chore.

Don't hop up and run to the bathroom right after you make love. Lying down for at least a few minutes (some fertility experts say five minutes) after intercourse increases the odds that the sperm will be able to keep their date with the awaiting egg and that you'll win at baby roulette.

Make love often during your fertile period (the five days leading up to ovulation). If you've got the stamina to make love at least every 48 hours, you will ensure that there's a fresh shipment of sperm waiting in the fallopian tube at any given time. Of course, you can get too much of a good thing if your partner has a low sperm count, so if you're aware of a pre-existing fertility problem, you'll want to talk this issue over with your fertility specialist.

Keep in mind that babymaking is a numbers game. Even if you do everything "right," you still have only a 25% to 30% chance of conceiving in any given cycle. (See The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition), The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers and The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby (first edition and the brand new second edition for more on how factors like age and your previous reproductive history affect your odds of conceiving sooner rather than later.

Here's a bit of sex-related trivia, just in case you and your partner are looking for a little inspiration. There are over 114 million sex acts performed around the world.

Are you a coffee drinker? Time to give it up or switch to decaf! Caffeine is thought to restrict the growth of a developing baby by constricting blood vessels and reducing blood flow to the uterus. What's more, a few studies have indicated that excessive consumption of caffeine (that is, more than three cups of drip coffee per day) may contribute to fertility problems. The jury is still out on this last point, however.

Are you or your partner regularly exposed to hazardous substances in the workplace? You may need to consider a job change or job modification before you start your family. Certain substances can affect both the quality of sperm and the development of the embryo.

Have you had your preconception checkup yet? Set up an appointment with your doctor to review your medical history and to talk about your plans to start trying to conceive. (Note: You can find a detailed discussion of preconception health issues in The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby (second edition) and The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition).

Are you currently taking any prescription or over-the-counter drugs? Be sure to ask your doctor if it's safe for you to continue taking them once you start trying to conceive.

If you aren't already doing so, start keeping a menstrual calendar. Note the date when your period starts, the number of days it lasts, and anything else your doctor might want to know about. This information could prove helpful if you experience problems in conceiving. It can also prove invaluable in pinpointing the date of conception -- and consequently your due date.

Try to book the last appointment of the day for your preconception checkup. That's when your doctor or midwife is most likely to be able to take the time to answer your questions and address your concerns without feeling rushed to go on to the next patient.

Make your vaginal environment as sperm-friendly as possible. Avoid vaginal sprays and scented tampons (which can cause a pH imbalance in your vagina); artificial lubricants, vegetable oils, and glycerin (because they can kill off sperm); saliva (because saliva can also kill sperm); and douching (because it alters the normal acidity of the vagina; can cause vaginal infections and/or pelvic inflammatory disease; and may wash away the cervical mucus that is needed to transport the sperm).

If you're monitoring your cervical mucus in an attempt to predict your most fertile days, do your checks before you shower, bathe, or swim. These activities can all affect the quantity and quality of your cervical mucus.